Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Hussein in the membrane

Why is it a ‘hate crime’ to say Barack Hussein Obama? If he’s so embarrassed by his own middle name he should have changed it to Harold, or Humphrey, or H. Rap Beige before running for President.

This isn’t a partisan issue. If McCain’s middle name were, say, Mussolini, I’d laugh at that too. And so, I’m sure, would all the frothing Obamamaniacs now so outraged to hear the full name of The Chosen One uttered aloud.

There’s nothing funny about this, either.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

They caucus when we're tryin' to go home

Wanting to witness the absurdity of democracy first hand I put on an Elect Hillary! t-shirt and an Obama ’08 hat and set out for my local caucus meeting. After enduring half an hour of dreary “debate” I decided to enliven the proceedings by yelling “The revolution will NOT be televised!” in some old ladies face while waving my clenched fist in the air. I then walked across the street to the Democratic Party caucus. It too was boring.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Campaign predictions: Blameshifters

If McCain loses, his neocon and liberal Republican backers will blame real conservatives for not “getting with the program”. They will claim traditionalists are “holding the party back” with “outdated views.”

Campaign predictions: McCain’s macaca moment

If, as now seems inevitable, McCain wins the Republican nomination, at some crucial point in the campaign one of McCain’s sycophants in the media will undergo a "crisis of conscience" and feel compelled to report some of McCain’s off the record off-color remarks.