At a campaign stop at Google headquarters in Silicon Valley Sen. Barack Hussien Obama compared his “metoric rise” to that of Google’s. What could Barry possibly mean by that? Does he really think Google got to where it is today by being black? Maybe he does.
Signs of John McCain’s mental decline were evident at a campaign event in South Carolina after an American patriot asked John McCain “How do we beat the bitch?". Instead of correctly answering 'with a stick,' the doddering Senator incoherently replied:
"That's an excellent question," he added. "I respect Senator Clinton. I respect anyone who gets the nomination of the Democratic Party."Later McCain further reminded voters he’s a tired old man by recycling a tired old joke from the 1990’s about CNN standing for the “Clinton news network”.
In Charleston, South Carolina Fred Thompson awoke from a nap mumbling something about wanting “a "million-member" ground force that includes 775,000 in the Army and 225,000 Marines,” but fell back asleep before explaining why. In unrelated news, Canada's oil reserves are now second only to Saudi Arabia.
Hillary Clinton arrived in Las Vegas for a Democratic debate. Despite the proximity of the Vegas Strip, the boring former first lady said she was too busy to do any gambling, drinking, or dancing, and would instead spend most of her time in her hotel room prepping for the debate and having lesbian sex.
Rudi Guliani is also in Las Vegas. At a brief appearance he criticized the Democratic candidates for having “impractical ideas” then headed out for dinner with some friends.