Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Republican Convention Highlights

Fred Thompson tells America about McCain banging a stripper, producing wild applause and cheering from the audience. Urges America to rent Aces: Iron Eagle III, resulting in a mixed response of some cheers and a few scattered boos.

Joe Lieberman follows, urging Americans to increase the amount of fiber in their diets, “So you don’t end up like me,” he warns, then he talks about the burden of being a sad-faced muppet. The crowd responds tepidly.

Next Sarah Palin makes surprise appearance, to wild applause and cheering. Announces daughter Willow is pregnant too, causing even wilder applause and cheering. Then the audience erupts with chant of “U-S-A! U-S-A!” and spills out of the auditorium into the cold night, and under the twinkling stars takes off all its clothes and begins joyously leaping into the river…

…Here our coverage ends when I remember they’re showing women’s team handball on the Russian channel.

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