Pole shifts

Responding to criticism from Craptocracy and others, Mike Huckabee says he no longer wants a nationwide smoking ban. Huckabee has also reversed himself on immigration. The fuzzyfundy who once advocated amnesty for illegal aliens because that’s what Jesus would’ve wanted*, now claims to be an immigration restrictionist.

A Presidential candidate modify his stated aims during a campaign is no surprise. It’s something all politicians must do, in order to get elected. But Huckabee’s veering to such extremes suggests he puts no thought into what he says or what he stands for.

*It's true a lot of guys named Jesus do want amnesty for illegals, but Huckabee wasn't referring to them.

Campaign Roundup

Fred Thompson speaks out on illegal aliens.

Hillary Clinton speaks out on space aliens.

UFO witness Dennis Kucinich excluded from debate.

Crunchycon endorses Fuzzyfundy.

Rudy Giuliani unveils giant tax form.

New Hampshire results

Fuzzyfundy and anti-smoking zealot Mike Huckabee places third.

New Hampshire Countdown

The motto of New Hampshire is Live Free or Die, but New Hampshire has enacted a smoking ban, so ironic scare quotes should be added so it reads Live "Free" or "Die" and everyone should stop pretending "Granite Staters" are a breed apart.

I have no insights on tomorrow's outcome, but I have coined the term "fuzzyfundy" to describe fuzzyfundy Mike Huckabee.

Huckamania

I’ve avoided commenting on the appalling Huckabee “surge” because Huckabee is no laughing matter (I initially underestimated the menace he posed), he’s a dangerous lunatic advocating a federal ban on smoking. He must be stopped at all costs.

Though Huckabee seeks greater persecution of smokers (as if smokers weren’t already persecuted enough), he condones dog torturers, at least when the torturer is his obese son. I can easily name plenty of good people that enjoy smoking, I can’t name a single decent person that enjoys torturing dogs. Governor Huckabee should look at the beam in his own eye, and not the cigarette in my mouth. As someone named God (remember Him, Governor?) once said:

“Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth...” - Genesis 1:29

Tobacco is, of course, an herb, and therefore a gift from God to all mankind, thus tobacco bans are the work of Satan. You think Huckabee as an ordained minister would know this, but then the Bible also says gluttony is a sin, and that never stopped the Huckabee family from stuffing their fat faces.

Who even knew he was running? Part III

Republican Mike Huckabee believes God wants us to fight global warming. If God really wanted us to fight global warming why would he tell me to set fire to all those tires? Though the Huckabee camp refuses to comment, saying it’s “too early”, my sources assure me if nominated the former fatty will select Jared Fogle as his running mate.

The activities of the rest of the candidates have been overshadowed by the fallout that erupted like a rising meteor after John McCain threatened to bitch-slap Hillary Clinton. Some are calling for McCain to apologize, but veteran political columnist and Washington insider Ani Arakelian is having none of it:

“Hillary wants to pay tag with the boys, but when they pick on her, she comes crying to us complaining that they picked on her because she is a girl. If Senator Clinton is going to be playing in the game of politics, she is going to have to learn how to defend herself. She is not going to stand a chance if she keeps making excuses.”

Well said.