On the history making acceptance speech of Barack Barry Soetero Hussein OBAMA

They got tested for AIDS

Remember when the crowds rushed to witness OBAMA? Remember the excitement? The awe? “Behold, He walks amongst us!” they exulted. “Is He glowing? I think He glows! Dare I touch the hem of His robe in hopes it cures my warty finger?” they whispered. “Who will he bless with the privilege of being his vice president?” they wondered. “Bono? Lando Calrissian? H.R. Puff 'n' Stuff?”

It all seems so long ago now…

Dear Saddleback Forum

On Saturday McCain and Hussein Obama appeared at Saddleback Creek, an evangelical humongochurch, for questioning by the church’s pastor Rick Warren. Alas, neither boring candidate turned the tables and asked the corpulent preacherman when gluttony stopped being a sin, but there were a few interesting moments.

Asked about Supreme Court Justices, Obama Barry Soetero said he “Would not have appointed Clarence Thomas because Thomas wasn't ready at the time.” Amazingly, the audience didn’t burst into laughter.

The candidates were asked to name the “three wisest people they would consult as president”. McCain named General David Petraeus, architect of  'The Surge' in Iraq; CEO of eBay Meg Whitman, architect of the swap meet on your Aunt Gladys’s computer; and Rep. John Lewis, black liberal Democrat and Obama supporter. Amazingly, the audience didn’t burst into laughter.

Obama said the three people he would consult were his grandmamma, though it wasn’t clear if meant the American one he threw under the bus for being ‘racist’ or the Kenyan one who still works in the fields at age 86 while The Obama flies around in a jet; his wife, a resentful affirmative action queen; and Sam Nunn and Dick Lugar, who Obama seems to believe are only one person – and he may be right.

If I were President my three “wisepersons” would be:

Goodspaceguy Nelson. Current gubernatorial candidate and visionary who wants to build orbital space colonies around the Earth, Moon, and eventually Mars.

The Fenzghang Thing. It gets the nod over the Ghanaian Abomination because of the economic and geostrategic importance of China.

Magic 8-Ball. Q. Will the next president be, if not a success, or at least minimally competent, perhaps something slightly less bad than an absolute disaster? A. Outlook not so good.

Overall strategy for losing

“As this race unfolds, the winning coalition for us is clearer and clearer. There are three demographic variables that explain almost all of the voters in the primary—gender, party, and income. Race is a factor as well, but we are fighting hard to neutralize it.”

 – from a March 2007 internal memo titled “Overall Strategy for Winning”, written by Mark Penn, Chief Strategist of the Hillary Clinton Campaign [emphasis added].

“Much of [Clinton's] bungled strategy was the consequence of stereotypes. She and her brain trust assumed she would win at least some of the black vote; thinking blacks might put race first is not a thought liberals allow themselves to have. They also assumed white voters in caucus states like Idaho and North Dakota were bigots who would never vote for a black man, so she didn’t compete enough in those places.”

 – from a May 2008 blog posting titled “Sterotypes”, written by C. Van Carter.

Memories from the campaign trail

Fuzzyfundy, rocking YOU like a hurricane!

Hillary Clinton being hit on by my tiny valet Señor Moreno.

John McCain gets a special pizza commemorating his 80th birthday.

Human-pig hybrid known as the Ghanaian abomination.

Obama to Mac: clean up your act

Barack Obama is “talking down to black people” again. This time the target of his condescension is comedian Bernie Mac, who got schooled by Barack for making the following joke at an Obama fundraiser:

The Chicago-born comedian and actor told what he said was a joke about his nephew coming to him and asking the difference between a hypothetical question and a realistic question.

To demonstrate the difference, he tells the nephew to go ask his mother if she would make love to the mailman for $50,000. The mother says she would make love to the mailman and anybody else for $50,000.

He tells the nephew to go ask his sister if she would make love with her neighbor for $50,000. She says she would make love with the neighbor and anybody else for $50,000.

So he tells the nephew: “Hypothetically speaking, we should have $100,000. But realistically speaking we live with two hos,” Bernie Mac said.

As is so often the case, this unfortunate situation could have been avoided by deploying Sinbad. Not only is Sinbad “off-the-wall...free as the wind, an unpredictable force that can't be harnessed”, his comedy is rated DG, or “Very clean. Suitable for family or conservative groups. No strong language and little or no sexual dialogue or situations.”

I wonder, is Obama habitually careless about who he associates with? Or does he have some sort of grudge against Sinbad? Or both?

Afro-politics Roundup

Barack Obama wants all Americans to “perform public service” as a “sacrifice for neighborhood and country”. Obama cites his years as a race agitator as an example of such sacrificial public service.

Jesse Jackson threatens to “cut” off Obama’s “n*ts”.¹

Alhaji Baba Sheriff insists the Zongo Caucus of the Odododiodioo Constituency is not a divisive pressure group.

¹Balls.