Thursday, August 28, 2008

A closer look at the history making acceptance speech of Barack Barry Soetero Hussein OBAMA

Highlights from The Speech and commentary

“Now, I don't believe that Senator McCain doesn't care what's going on in the lives of Americans. I just think he doesn't know… It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.”

Of course McCain doesn’t know or get it, he’s a doddering old man. I find Obama’s ageism deeply offensive.

“For over two decades, he's subscribed to that old, discredited Republican philosophy give more and more to those with the most and hope that prosperity trickles down to everyone else. In Washington, they call this the Ownership Society, but what it really means is you're on your own. Out of work? Tough luck. No health care? The market will fix it. Born into poverty? Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps even if you don't have boots. You're on your own.”

The Republicans’ eliminated the welfare state? Really? I’ve been drunk for over two decades, but still, you think I would have noticed that.

“Ours is a promise that says government cannot solve all our problems, but what it should do is that which we cannot do for ourselves; protect us from harm and provide every child a decent education; keep our water clean and our toys safe.”

Hence the Toys Clause of the United States Constitution.

“You don't protect Israel and deter Iran just by talking tough in Washington. You can't truly stand up for Georgia when you've strained our oldest alliances.”

Here I thought protecting Israel, bombing Iran, and going to war over Georgia were McCain’s deal. Moving to the center!

“John McCain likes to say that he'll follow bin Laden to the Gates of Hell but he won't even go to the cave where he lives.”

Have Obama’s Mussulman friends told him where Osama is? Is he saying he will invade Pakistan?

“I've got news for you, John McCain. We all put our country first.”

I guess he wasn’t paying attention when he attended the AIPAC convention.

“We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country.”

We may not agree on women’s team handball, but I find it mildly entertaining.

“The reality of gun ownership may be different for hunters in rural Ohio than for those plagued by gang-violence in Cleveland, but don't tell me we can't uphold the Second Amendment while keeping AK-47s out of the hands of criminals.”

As an advocate of putting AK-47’s in the hands of Cleveland’s criminals I find this deeply offensive.

“Passions fly on immigration, but I don't know anyone who benefits when a mother is separated from her infant child or an employer undercuts American wages by hiring illegal workers.”

He doesn’t pull any punches, does he? Not to nitpick, but in the latter example the employer benefits.

“I realize that I am not the likeliest candidate for this office. I don't fit the typical pedigree, and I haven't spent my career in the halls of Washington.”

What career? Failing as a ‘community organizer’ and getting appointed to some board by your terrorist friend isn’t a career.

“But I stand before you tonight because all across America something is stirring. What the nay-sayers don't understand is that this election has never been about me. It's been about you.

For eighteen long months, you have stood up, one by one, and said enough to the politics of the past. You understand that in this election, the greatest risk we can take is to try the same old politics with the same old players and expect a different result. You have shown what history teaches us that at defining moments like this one, the change we need doesn't come from Washington. Change comes to Washington. Change happens because the American people demand it because they rise up and insist on new ideas and new leadership, a new politics for a new time.”

Your people, sir—your people is a great beast. – Alexander Hamilton.

“It is that American spirit that American promise that pushes us forward even when the path is uncertain; that binds us together in spite of our differences; that makes us fix our eye not on what is seen, but what is unseen, that better place around the bend.

That promise is our greatest inheritance. It's a promise I make to my daughters when I tuck them in at night, and a promise that you make to yours a promise that has led immigrants to cross oceans and pioneers to travel west; a promise that led workers to picket lines, and women to reach for the ballot.”

For you see, our inheritance isn’t America herself, for she is mostly the creation of evil white men. Only by doing good for the non-white, the non-men, and the non-Americans can some day America truly be a “better place”. A good step down this hard road is electing you know who.

“And it is that promise that forty five years ago today, brought Americans from every corner of this land to stand together on a Mall in Washington, before Lincoln's Memorial, and hear a young preacher from Georgia speak of his dream.”

I’m tired of hearing about “The Dream”. I’m tired of hearing MLK intone “Thank God Almighty!” I’m tired of hearing BO’s alien name. I’m tired.

“They could've been told to succumb to the fear and frustration of so many dreams deferred.”

Like raisins in the bran.

“America, we cannot turn back.”

Why not?

“Not with so much work to be done. Not with so many children to educate, and so many veterans to care for.”

Not with Tiny Tim out there with no Christmas goose.

“Thank you, God Bless you, and God Bless the United States of America. Now I’m going to put on these wings I built and fly out of here, sort of like a big brown Brewster McCloud. Thank You.”

You have to admit the finale was impressive.


  1. >>“Passions fly on immigration, but I don't know anyone who benefits when a mother is separated from her infant child...”

    He's not thinking hard enough. I benefit, and other legal U.S. citizens benefit, because it sends a tough message to current and would-be illegals: Don't try to live illegally in the U.S. because we will make life very difficult for you.

  2. But of course it's also a lie. It's not like we force any illegal alien mothers to leave their babies behind.

  3. I can report this exclusive to Craptocracy: I'm considering running in 2012 on a single-issue platform: of renaming all streets, schools, parks and public toilets named after "Dr." King, to instead commemorate the life and work of Prince Clemens von Metternich.

    For example, MLK Way in Berkeley (formerly Grove Street): Prince Clemens von Metternich Way. It's a small change, I know. But think of the symbolism! Yes, we can.

  4. You've got my support. That would make a hilarious ballot initiative. Of course by 2012 your proposal will be considered a hate crime.