On Saturday McCain and Hussein Obama appeared at Saddleback Creek, an evangelical humongochurch, for questioning by the church’s pastor Rick Warren. Alas, neither boring candidate turned the tables and asked the corpulent preacherman when gluttony stopped being a sin, but there were a few interesting moments.
Asked about Supreme Court Justices, Obama Barry Soetero said he “Would not have appointed Clarence Thomas because Thomas wasn't ready at the time.” Amazingly, the audience didn’t burst into laughter.
The candidates were asked to name the “three wisest people they would consult as president”. McCain named General David Petraeus, architect of 'The Surge' in Iraq; CEO of eBay Meg Whitman, architect of the swap meet on your Aunt Gladys’s computer; and Rep. John Lewis, black liberal Democrat and Obama supporter. Amazingly, the audience didn’t burst into laughter.
Obama said the three people he would consult were his grandmamma, though it wasn’t clear if meant the American one he threw under the bus for being ‘racist’ or the Kenyan one who still works in the fields at age 86 while The Obama flies around in a jet; his wife, a resentful affirmative action queen; and Sam Nunn and Dick Lugar, who Obama seems to believe are only one person – and he may be right.
If I were President my three “wisepersons” would be:
Goodspaceguy Nelson. Current gubernatorial candidate and visionary who wants to build orbital space colonies around the Earth, Moon, and eventually Mars.
The Fenzghang Thing. It gets the nod over the Ghanaian Abomination because of the economic and geostrategic importance of China.
Magic 8-Ball. Q. Will the next president be, if not a success, or at least minimally competent, perhaps something slightly less bad than an absolute disaster? A. Outlook not so good.