The End

If we will listen to the judgment of those who should best know the nature of popular government, we shall find no reason for good men to desire or choose it. Xenophon, that brave scholar and soldier, disallowed the Athenian commonweal for that they followed that form of government wherein the wicked are always in greatest credit, and virtuous men kept under. They expelled Aristides the Just; Themistocles died in banishment; Miltiades in prison; Phocion, the most virtuous and just man of his age, though he had been chosen forty-five times to be their general, yet he was put to death with all his friends, kindred, and servants, by the fury of the people, without sentence, accusation, or any cause at all.

- Sir Robert Filmer, Patriarcha.

Ask them if the remember Barry O'Bannon

One of the curious things about Obama is that none of his Columbia classmates seem to remember him. Mencius Moldbug has been trying to figure out why, and his theories, as always, are interesting, but I revealed the real reason no one from Columbia remembers Obama a year ago.

Speaking of Obama, as you probably already know Steve Sailer has written an entertaining and informative book about Barack Hussein Obama called America’s Half-Blood Prince: Barack Obama’s "Story Of Race And Inheritance, and for a limited time you can download it for free.

Yahoozee!

October 19th: Colin Powell endorses Barry Hussein Obama, claims race has nothing to do with it.

October 16th:

Former U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell performed this week with the Nigerian hip-hop group Olu Maintain at London's Royal Albert Hall.

The Times of London said Powell, 71, surprised the crowd at the Africa Rising music and fashion festival by singing and doing a version of the Nigerian dance Yahoozee Tuesday night.

"I stand before you tonight as an African-American," The Times quoted Powell as telling the audience. "Many people say to me, 'You became secretary of state of the USA., is it really necessary to say you are an African-American, or that you are black?' And I say, 'Yes,' so that we can remind our children. It took a lot of people struggling to bring me to this point in history. I didn't just drop out of the sky. People came from my continent in chains. There's no reason a new Africa can't be created right here and now."

UPDATE: Why is it called the Yahoozee dance? Nigerian Mbaskei Martin explains [emphasis added]:

A cross examination of the global perspective on 'yahooism'(cyber crimes and fraud)and yahooist (perpetrator), is tantamount to consideration and examination of same.


“Yahooism” is an act of cyber crime that defrauds unsuspecting victims in foreign countries of their hard – earned money. In some instances, the unsuspecting victim is used to defraud banks, postal agencies, shops, etc. The yahooist (perpetrator) sends fake cheques or postal money orders to victims in either of the following countries: Canada, United States of America, United Kingdom and other European Countries, Asia as the case maybe. When the cheques or money order are cashed, the victim is told to send the money through western union money transfer in Nigeria...

In Nigeria today, cyber crimes has found its roots in the society. Like a cankerworm it has eaten deeply in the society and finally been accepted by thesame society. It is difficult to deny youth support of the menace with yahoozee shirts, yahoozee dance steps, yahoozee songs from the likes of Olu Maintain and even some young people identify themselves as yahoo boys and girls.

Colin Powell dancing and rapping like an ass in celebration of Nigerian email scams.

Final debate notes some T-shirts that are very unacceptable

Thank you. Reform. Plan. Joe the Plumber. I'm not happy about either, in fact, some T-shirts that are very unacceptable.Years. Invest. Crisis. Thank you. Wurzelbacher.

No substance in the debate. Listening to it McCain sounded defeated. The exchange about the John Lewis smear was particularly pathetic. McCain was needy, he wanted Obama and Lewis to approve of him, and he’s hurt and confused they don’t. Obama sounded smug, at times not able to fully suppress a nasty quality.

Debate notes

McCain proposes having the government buy everyone’s mortgage. This may sound like socialism, and it would be socialism if Obama proposed it, but make no mistake, it’s not socialism, because Maverick! Maverick! Maverick! UPDATE:  As I was saying...

McLogic: Don’t vote for a Democrat, vote for me...so I can reach across the aisle and work with Democrats.

Obama says “annnnd” a lot annnnd it’s annnnnoying.

Both candidates promise to replace oil with ‘alternative energy’. What a terrific idea. Why has no one thought of it before? The solution has been there all along. Rapple dapple! It’s replaced, baby! How you like us now, Mussulmen? We done dumped your oil for our greeny alterno-power.

A lot of baldies on the citizen’s panel. Is that for McCain’s benefit, or to mock him? That one baldy looks like Trent Dilfer. Did Dilfer ever get to ask a question? Because I’m leaving to get drunk...

If they can replace oil with ‘alternative energy’, why can’t they replace cars with flying cars?

If they can replace oil with ‘alternative energy’, why can’t they find a cure for baldness?

Campaign predictions: approaching macaca

Predictably, McCain’s media allies are beginning to turn on him. Prepare yourself for the hilarious moment I foresaw in February:

At some crucial point in the campaign one of McCain’s sycophants in the media will undergo a "crisis of conscience" and feel compelled to report some of McCain’s off the record off-color remarks.

Bailout (I wish I could)

If Paulson had proposed spending $700 billion to blow up the moon in order to save the economy, Democrats would hesitate unless some of the money were routed to ACORN, Republicans would refuse unless a few tax cuts were sprinkled in. That something might be done other than blowing up the moon would not occur to the lot of them.

Is he or isn’t he?

Is Barack Hussein Obama a Reptilian? Some say yes, others say no. I say we need further investigation.

Waffles, we love you

 Breaking news:

Activists at a conservative political forum snapped up boxes of waffle mix depicting Democrat Barack Obama as a racial stereotype¹ on its front and wearing Arab-like headdress on its top flap.


Values Voter Summit organizers cut off sales of Obama Waffles boxes on Saturday, saying they had not realized the boxes displayed “offensive material.”²

Playing off the old image of Aunt Jemima, widely criticized as a demeaning stereotype,³ Obama is portrayed with popping eyes and big, thick lips as he stares at a plate of waffles and smiles broadly.⁴ It also displays Obama in Arab-like headdress.

The box was meant as political satire, said Mark Whitlock and Bob DeMoss, two writers from Franklin, Tenn., who created the mix. They sold it for $10 a box.

¹ Caricature n. A representation, especially pictorial or literary, in which the subject's distinctive features or peculiarities are deliberately exaggerated to produce a comic or grotesque effect.

² “In the islands of Oceania, the savages who fill the office of priests often indulge the whim of declaring some specific object to be…taboo, that is to say, sacred, and from that point on no one can touch it under pain of sacrilege and of death.” - Louis Veuillot.

³ The Aunt Jemima character was a housekeeper. A lot of women are housekeepers. My grandmother was a housekeeper. Not the most glamorous job, certainly, but honest work. It’s not “demeaning” to be ordinary. The black demand to be depicted only as exceptional (at least by non-blacks) results in the absurd ubiquity on television and in movies of black doctors, black lawyers, black brain surgeons, black rocket scientists, etc.

⁴ As can be seen above, his features aren’t that exaggerated.

Chinese Craptocracy

"A lot of people think Western-style democracy is a joke — it's more like a pop-idol contest or a beauty pageant," said Pan Xiaoli, an anchorwoman for International Channel Shanghai, an English-language TV station...


"For ordinary Chinese observers, it is hard for them to differentiate between the platforms or understand the anxieties. They've seen it mostly as a competition between a woman, a black man and an old man," said Wang Jisi, dean of the school of international studies at Peking University, speaking at a seminar of journalists earlier this week in Seoul, South Korea.

- Chinese have surprisingly accurate view of U.S. elections.

Obamanuggets

Obama supporters never miss a chance to mention how Obama graduated from Harvard Law School. This can only be because they have no first hand knowledge of Harvard lawyers. Anyone who has can tell you Harvard lawyers are colossal shits.

Obama picks up key endorsement.

Obama accidentally admits being a Mussulman.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Sarah Palin met with pro-Israel lobbyists to express her support for U.S.-Israel ties.

Palin, the Alaska governor who was tapped last week by Sen. John McCain to be his vice-presidential running mate, met for 45 minutes Tuesday in the Minneapolis area with several leaders of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee. Also in attendance at the AIPAC meeting was U.S. Sen. Joseph Lieberman (I-Conn.), the McCain campaign’s most prominent Jewish backer.

McCain campaign spokesman Michael Goldfarb said Palin spoke about “the relationship between Israel and American national security, and the threats to Israel from Iran and others.”

“She was extremely well received,” Goldfarb said, noting that Palin was interrupted by applause twice.

AIPAC also praised the meeting.

 - Palin meets with AIPAC leaders.

Republican Convention Highlights

Fred Thompson tells America about McCain banging a stripper, producing wild applause and cheering from the audience. Urges America to rent Aces: Iron Eagle III, resulting in a mixed response of some cheers and a few scattered boos.

Joe Lieberman follows, urging Americans to increase the amount of fiber in their diets, “So you don’t end up like me,” he warns, then he talks about the burden of being a sad-faced muppet. The crowd responds tepidly.

Next Sarah Palin makes surprise appearance, to wild applause and cheering. Announces daughter Willow is pregnant too, causing even wilder applause and cheering. Then the audience erupts with chant of “U-S-A! U-S-A!” and spills out of the auditorium into the cold night, and under the twinkling stars takes off all its clothes and begins joyously leaping into the river…

…Here our coverage ends when I remember they’re showing women’s team handball on the Russian channel.

Campaign 2008: The view from Europe

In a demonstration highlighting his global appeal, Obama supporters in the UK flogged themselves while chanting his middle name.

Italy's La Stampa thinks selecting Palin is “The most slap sound that McCain could inflict to Obama.” Or something like that.

Sarah Palin

I can only laugh at the excitement among ‘conservatives’ over Sarah Palin, an unexceptional woman who needs to be at home holding her children when they cry, not in the White House holding John McCain when he bombs Iran and Russia.

Phyllis Schlafly once said: “The flight from the home is a flight from yourself, from responsibility, from the nature of woman, in pursuit of false hopes and fading illusions.” Today’s ‘conservatives’ not only don’t realize she was right, they don’t realize they’ve adopted the “pursuit of false hopes and fading illusions” as a central tenet.

A closer look at the history making acceptance speech of Barack Barry Soetero Hussein OBAMA

Highlights from The Speech and commentary

“Now, I don't believe that Senator McCain doesn't care what's going on in the lives of Americans. I just think he doesn't know… It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.”

Of course McCain doesn’t know or get it, he’s a doddering old man. I find Obama’s ageism deeply offensive.

“For over two decades, he's subscribed to that old, discredited Republican philosophy give more and more to those with the most and hope that prosperity trickles down to everyone else. In Washington, they call this the Ownership Society, but what it really means is you're on your own. Out of work? Tough luck. No health care? The market will fix it. Born into poverty? Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps even if you don't have boots. You're on your own.”

The Republicans’ eliminated the welfare state? Really? I’ve been drunk for over two decades, but still, you think I would have noticed that.

“Ours is a promise that says government cannot solve all our problems, but what it should do is that which we cannot do for ourselves; protect us from harm and provide every child a decent education; keep our water clean and our toys safe.”

Hence the Toys Clause of the United States Constitution.

“You don't protect Israel and deter Iran just by talking tough in Washington. You can't truly stand up for Georgia when you've strained our oldest alliances.”

Here I thought protecting Israel, bombing Iran, and going to war over Georgia were McCain’s deal. Moving to the center!

“John McCain likes to say that he'll follow bin Laden to the Gates of Hell but he won't even go to the cave where he lives.”

Have Obama’s Mussulman friends told him where Osama is? Is he saying he will invade Pakistan?

“I've got news for you, John McCain. We all put our country first.”

I guess he wasn’t paying attention when he attended the AIPAC convention.

“We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country.”

We may not agree on women’s team handball, but I find it mildly entertaining.

“The reality of gun ownership may be different for hunters in rural Ohio than for those plagued by gang-violence in Cleveland, but don't tell me we can't uphold the Second Amendment while keeping AK-47s out of the hands of criminals.”

As an advocate of putting AK-47’s in the hands of Cleveland’s criminals I find this deeply offensive.

“Passions fly on immigration, but I don't know anyone who benefits when a mother is separated from her infant child or an employer undercuts American wages by hiring illegal workers.”

He doesn’t pull any punches, does he? Not to nitpick, but in the latter example the employer benefits.

“I realize that I am not the likeliest candidate for this office. I don't fit the typical pedigree, and I haven't spent my career in the halls of Washington.”

What career? Failing as a ‘community organizer’ and getting appointed to some board by your terrorist friend isn’t a career.

“But I stand before you tonight because all across America something is stirring. What the nay-sayers don't understand is that this election has never been about me. It's been about you.

For eighteen long months, you have stood up, one by one, and said enough to the politics of the past. You understand that in this election, the greatest risk we can take is to try the same old politics with the same old players and expect a different result. You have shown what history teaches us that at defining moments like this one, the change we need doesn't come from Washington. Change comes to Washington. Change happens because the American people demand it because they rise up and insist on new ideas and new leadership, a new politics for a new time.”

Your people, sir—your people is a great beast. – Alexander Hamilton.

“It is that American spirit that American promise that pushes us forward even when the path is uncertain; that binds us together in spite of our differences; that makes us fix our eye not on what is seen, but what is unseen, that better place around the bend.

That promise is our greatest inheritance. It's a promise I make to my daughters when I tuck them in at night, and a promise that you make to yours a promise that has led immigrants to cross oceans and pioneers to travel west; a promise that led workers to picket lines, and women to reach for the ballot.”

For you see, our inheritance isn’t America herself, for she is mostly the creation of evil white men. Only by doing good for the non-white, the non-men, and the non-Americans can some day America truly be a “better place”. A good step down this hard road is electing you know who.

“And it is that promise that forty five years ago today, brought Americans from every corner of this land to stand together on a Mall in Washington, before Lincoln's Memorial, and hear a young preacher from Georgia speak of his dream.”

I’m tired of hearing about “The Dream”. I’m tired of hearing MLK intone “Thank God Almighty!” I’m tired of hearing BO’s alien name. I’m tired.

“They could've been told to succumb to the fear and frustration of so many dreams deferred.”

Like raisins in the bran.

“America, we cannot turn back.”

Why not?

“Not with so much work to be done. Not with so many children to educate, and so many veterans to care for.”

Not with Tiny Tim out there with no Christmas goose.

“Thank you, God Bless you, and God Bless the United States of America. Now I’m going to put on these wings I built and fly out of here, sort of like a big brown Brewster McCloud. Thank You.”

You have to admit the finale was impressive.

On the history making acceptance speech of Barack Barry Soetero Hussein OBAMA

They got tested for AIDS

Remember when the crowds rushed to witness OBAMA? Remember the excitement? The awe? “Behold, He walks amongst us!” they exulted. “Is He glowing? I think He glows! Dare I touch the hem of His robe in hopes it cures my warty finger?” they whispered. “Who will he bless with the privilege of being his vice president?” they wondered. “Bono? Lando Calrissian? H.R. Puff 'n' Stuff?”

It all seems so long ago now…

Dear Saddleback Forum

On Saturday McCain and Hussein Obama appeared at Saddleback Creek, an evangelical humongochurch, for questioning by the church’s pastor Rick Warren. Alas, neither boring candidate turned the tables and asked the corpulent preacherman when gluttony stopped being a sin, but there were a few interesting moments.

Asked about Supreme Court Justices, Obama Barry Soetero said he “Would not have appointed Clarence Thomas because Thomas wasn't ready at the time.” Amazingly, the audience didn’t burst into laughter.

The candidates were asked to name the “three wisest people they would consult as president”. McCain named General David Petraeus, architect of  'The Surge' in Iraq; CEO of eBay Meg Whitman, architect of the swap meet on your Aunt Gladys’s computer; and Rep. John Lewis, black liberal Democrat and Obama supporter. Amazingly, the audience didn’t burst into laughter.

Obama said the three people he would consult were his grandmamma, though it wasn’t clear if meant the American one he threw under the bus for being ‘racist’ or the Kenyan one who still works in the fields at age 86 while The Obama flies around in a jet; his wife, a resentful affirmative action queen; and Sam Nunn and Dick Lugar, who Obama seems to believe are only one person – and he may be right.

If I were President my three “wisepersons” would be:

Goodspaceguy Nelson. Current gubernatorial candidate and visionary who wants to build orbital space colonies around the Earth, Moon, and eventually Mars.

The Fenzghang Thing. It gets the nod over the Ghanaian Abomination because of the economic and geostrategic importance of China.

Magic 8-Ball. Q. Will the next president be, if not a success, or at least minimally competent, perhaps something slightly less bad than an absolute disaster? A. Outlook not so good.

Overall strategy for losing

“As this race unfolds, the winning coalition for us is clearer and clearer. There are three demographic variables that explain almost all of the voters in the primary—gender, party, and income. Race is a factor as well, but we are fighting hard to neutralize it.”

 – from a March 2007 internal memo titled “Overall Strategy for Winning”, written by Mark Penn, Chief Strategist of the Hillary Clinton Campaign [emphasis added].

“Much of [Clinton's] bungled strategy was the consequence of stereotypes. She and her brain trust assumed she would win at least some of the black vote; thinking blacks might put race first is not a thought liberals allow themselves to have. They also assumed white voters in caucus states like Idaho and North Dakota were bigots who would never vote for a black man, so she didn’t compete enough in those places.”

 – from a May 2008 blog posting titled “Sterotypes”, written by C. Van Carter.

Memories from the campaign trail

Fuzzyfundy, rocking YOU like a hurricane!

Hillary Clinton being hit on by my tiny valet Señor Moreno.

John McCain gets a special pizza commemorating his 80th birthday.

Human-pig hybrid known as the Ghanaian abomination.

Obama to Mac: clean up your act

Barack Obama is “talking down to black people” again. This time the target of his condescension is comedian Bernie Mac, who got schooled by Barack for making the following joke at an Obama fundraiser:

The Chicago-born comedian and actor told what he said was a joke about his nephew coming to him and asking the difference between a hypothetical question and a realistic question.

To demonstrate the difference, he tells the nephew to go ask his mother if she would make love to the mailman for $50,000. The mother says she would make love to the mailman and anybody else for $50,000.

He tells the nephew to go ask his sister if she would make love with her neighbor for $50,000. She says she would make love with the neighbor and anybody else for $50,000.

So he tells the nephew: “Hypothetically speaking, we should have $100,000. But realistically speaking we live with two hos,” Bernie Mac said.

As is so often the case, this unfortunate situation could have been avoided by deploying Sinbad. Not only is Sinbad “off-the-wall...free as the wind, an unpredictable force that can't be harnessed”, his comedy is rated DG, or “Very clean. Suitable for family or conservative groups. No strong language and little or no sexual dialogue or situations.”

I wonder, is Obama habitually careless about who he associates with? Or does he have some sort of grudge against Sinbad? Or both?

Afro-politics Roundup

Barack Obama wants all Americans to “perform public service” as a “sacrifice for neighborhood and country”. Obama cites his years as a race agitator as an example of such sacrificial public service.

Jesse Jackson threatens to “cut” off Obama’s “n*ts”.¹

Alhaji Baba Sheriff insists the Zongo Caucus of the Odododiodioo Constituency is not a divisive pressure group.

¹Balls.

Baby, if you've ever wondered

On Sunday John McCain announced his “new thing” is to always wear a band-aid, "like Les Nessman did in WKRP in Cincinatti." On Monday the elderly Senator chose to wear the band-aid on top of his head. Stay tuned for more on this disturbing development.

Fruitcake interpretations

A new low for B. H. Obama: now he’s distorting the Bible!

Theology aside, his remarks are curious. In every college dorm room debate on religion the atheist side will, at some point, bring up Leviticus on slavery and shellfish. It’s odd hearing a Christian do so.

During the Jeremiah Wright ‘crisis’, the Obama apologists excused his attending a radical church claiming Obama was there for the Jesus talk, which Obama loves, not the hate whitey ranting, which Obama grudgingly tolerated. Barry’s facile interpretation of the Scriptures suggest it was the other way around.

Lark over

Is there anything Karl Rove isn’t a fathead about? Referring to Barry Hussein Obama Rove said, "Even if you never met him, you know this guy. He's the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by."

But Obama isn’t that guy at all. He’s the guy in the center of the room, schmoozing and trying to impress the ‘important’ people with his cleanliness and his articulate earnest idealism. Also the guys who make the snide remarks prefer brown liquor, and we don’t stand against the wall, we stand by the bar.

He's what?

Barry Obama is ‘transcending race’ again:

It is going to be very difficult for Republicans to run on their stewardship of the economy or their outstanding foreign policy," Obama told a fundraiser in Jacksonville, Florida. "We know what kind of campaign they're going to run. They're going to try to make you afraid.
"They're going to try to make you afraid of me. He's young and inexperienced and he's got a funny name. And did I mention he's black?"
"Ultimately I think the American people recognize that old stuff hasn't moved us forward. That old stuff just divides us," he said.

The Obama is, of course, young and inexperienced. He has perhaps the thinnest résumé of any major party presidential nominee ever. His name is funny. And even the stupidest voters don’t need to be told he is black.

All of which The Obama well knows, but he can’t resist using the divisive tactic of suggesting his critics are racist fear mongerers. What a turd.

Today's highlights from the McCain campaign trail

“John McCain has no publicly scheduled events.”

Same as it ever was

The latest clown to dance through the hall is Senator John McCain of Arizona, who entertained the nation and quite befuddled much of its political class with his antics during the presidential primaries last winter. Prior to his victory in New Hampshire over Texas Governor George W. Bush, most observers predicted he would indeed win there but nowhere else, though no one anticipated a McCain victory as smashing as the one he actually pulled off. But no sooner had the Arizona solon won in New Hampshire than an entire regiment of journalists and commentators fell into a swoon. Mr. McCain beat Mr. Bush by an impressive 18 percentage points in New Hampshire, and by the following day, some pundits -- namely neo-conservative chatterbox Bill Kristol -- had glimpsed nothing less than the bright dawn of political revolution.

Writing in The Washington Post the very day after the New Hampshire primary, Mr. Kristol announced that "It is John McCain and Bill Bradley who each now have a chance that occurs only once a generation -- to articulate a new governing agenda for a potential new majority." So much for the prophetic insights of Mr. Kristol, but while he was almost unique in thinking Bill Bradley could shatter the Clinton-Gore juggernaut, he was by no means alone in trumpeting what Mr. McCain was about to accomplish. A few days later his fellow neo-conservative Charles Krauthammer also started booming Mr. McCain, assuring us that although Mr. Bush was "more reliably conservative," it was Mr. McCain who was the sure winner. To the neo-con mind, of course, that pretty much clinched it. Why the hell would anyone support a candidate he actually agrees with on principles when he can go with an alternative who's sure to grab the power? "The question for Republicans," the intrepid Krauthammer assured us, "is not who will make the better president but who is more likely to be president." The sentence perfectly reveals the immense gulf that gapes between the different mentalities of conservatives and neo-conservatives. I, of course, cannot speak for Republicans, but for most serious people on the political right, (and indeed most who are serious on the left) the real question is how to turn the man who would make the better president into the man most likely to be president.

- Sam Francis. "A New Majority?" Chronicles June, 2000.

June Campaign Roundup

"Gore Endorses Obama as a Solver of Problems", doesn’t mention single problem Obama ever solved.

“I won't wait until the sixth year of my presidency to sit down with the automakers. I'll meet with them during my campaign, and I'll meet with them as president to talk about how we're going to build the cars of the future right here in Michigan.” - Barack Obama, explaining how years spent as a Community Activist on the streets of the inner city gave him vast expertise in automotive engineering.

The Communist Chinese report Michelle Obama and Cindy McCain are having a bakeoff. Why do aspiring First Ladies compete in contests to demonstrate they are qualified, but all aspiring Presidents do is talk?

Communists closer to home complain neither candidate shares the Communist/Libertarian position on open borders.

Who said it?

“I assure you, with confidence, at the end of my first term you will see a dramatic increase of women in every part of the government, in my administration.”

Assassinutty

Hillary Clinton said she won’t stop campaigning because The Obama might be assassinated. A more real possibility is they will frame The Obama for murder the way they framed O.J. Simpson. Either way, her staying in the race makes sense.

Stereotypes

Hillary Clinton’s grossly mismanaged campaign is now being dissected, not mentioned is how much of her bungled strategy was the consequence of stereotypes. She and her brain trust assumed she would win at least some of the black vote; thinking blacks might put race first is not a thought liberals allow themselves to have. They also assumed white voters in caucus states like Idaho and North Dakota were bigots who would never vote for a black man, so she didn’t compete enough in those places.

Verily he hath spoken

"It is wonderful to be back in Oregon. Over the last 15 months, we’ve traveled to every corner of the United States. I’ve now been in 57 states? I think one left to go. Alaska and Hawaii, I was not allowed to go to even though I really wanted to visit, but my staff would not justify it." - The Obamamessiah, decreeing seven, possibly eight new states into existence.

Defeating whitey

"I don't look like any president before...If I'm elected, that's not just a victory for me. That's a victory for people whose names aren't Smith or Jones, named Obama or, you know, Fernandez, people who historically have been on the outside, and I think it will signal that America is ready to think differently about itself." – Barack Obama, August 2007, explaining how “race doesn’t matter” to a Latino talk radio host.

Beneath the shell

When McCain talks about 'climate change' he seems desperate and grasping, like he doesn’t really care about it one way or the other. It’s as if he’s saying, “I’ll give you your global warming, just let me get my hands on some bombs. Just let me get my hands on some bombs and I will agree to whatever you want that doesn’t involve not bombing.”

He may have cried

The Obama speech on race has precipitated a spiritual crisis in the Crunchy Con. You can read his emotionally unbalanced, guilt-ridden meltdown here.

Usually, I’m told, when the Crunchy Con has one of his fits he rights himself by self-flagellating with organically grown bok choy, but this time it's so bad he will afterwards be wearing an eco-friendly reusable sackcloth until at least Earth Day.

He doesn't deliver payoff lines; he slam-dunks them!

Today America witnessed the saddest event in the Presidential campaign thus far after Hillary Clinton’s exaggerated claims about dodging sniper fire during a 1996 trip to Bosnia were immediately refuted by unfunny stand-up comedian Sinbad. That's right, Sinbad.

At least none of them cried

Remember the Ron Paul newsletter pseudo-controversy, where a few mildly outrageous (but for the most part, true) statements in some of Paul’s old newsletters induced mass pants shitting among libertarians? What a revolting spectacle. You had Radley Balko shitting his pants, Virginia Postrel shitting her panties, Will Wilkinson shitting his panties, and Julio Sanchez shitting in Dave Weigel’s pants.

And yet all of the above love, love, love (love, love) socialist Barry Obama’s disengenous, dishonest speech justifying a 20 year relationship with a crazy, anti-white preacher.

Having a double standard for blacks and largely adhering to liberal racial orthodoxy is what libertarians like to describe as “free thinking”.

What can brown do for you?

The new swarthier Bill Richardson endorses Barry Obama.

The old lighter Bill Richardson shares a light moment with Hillary.


BONUS: The old lighter Bill Richardson assaults an oldie.

There are many shades in the ecru rainbow.

His speechify make white liberal lady cry

Inspired by Barry Hussein Obama’s vaporings, a “cynic” reminds us again that democracy is mistake:

It’s been twenty minutes and I still can’t quite breath and am still choking up. I have read the speeches of Nelson Mandella, Steve Biko, Julius Nyerere, and Patrice Lumumba– all powerful orators– but not one has ever brought me to tears.

Obama earned my vote today– me, the eternal cynic. He may not be the most experienced candidate but the man is engaged in a way that we need our next president to be engaged. So much the better if he helps a white woman like me able to have a conversation about race that will actually be productive, rather than stifled because of my own latent prejudices that I have spent my adult life trying to unlearn and fear of being misinterpreted.

Hussein in the membrane

Why is it a ‘hate crime’ to say Barack Hussein Obama? If he’s so embarrassed by his own middle name he should have changed it to Harold, or Humphrey, or H. Rap Beige before running for President.

This isn’t a partisan issue. If McCain’s middle name were, say, Mussolini, I’d laugh at that too. And so, I’m sure, would all the frothing Obamamaniacs now so outraged to hear the full name of The Chosen One uttered aloud.


There’s nothing funny about this, either.

They caucus when we're tryin' to go home

Wanting to witness the absurdity of democracy first hand I put on an Elect Hillary! t-shirt and an Obama ’08 hat and set out for my local caucus meeting. After enduring half an hour of dreary “debate” I decided to enliven the proceedings by yelling “The revolution will NOT be televised!” in some old ladies face while waving my clenched fist in the air. I then walked across the street to the Democratic Party caucus. It too was boring.

Campaign predictions: Blameshifters

If McCain loses, his neocon and liberal Republican backers will blame real conservatives for not “getting with the program”. They will claim traditionalists are “holding the party back” with “outdated views.”

Campaign predictions: McCain’s macaca moment

If, as now seems inevitable, McCain wins the Republican nomination, at some crucial point in the campaign one of McCain’s sycophants in the media will undergo a "crisis of conscience" and feel compelled to report some of McCain’s off the record off-color remarks.

Florida Republican Primary EARLY RESULTS

After a disappointing third place showing in Florida, the Rudi Giuliani campaign is effectively over.

“Frankly, I’m stunned,” said Rob ‘Roberta’ Grababus, chairperson of the Flordia chapter of NTFW (Neocon Transvestites for War). “Everyone I know said they were voting for him. I guess America isn’t ready for a giant tax form.”

Fo' tha shorties

Things got heated at the Democratic debate in South Carolina. While Hillary and Obama exchanged attacks, that other guy seized the moment to interject some much needed non-sensical emotive posturing about (of course) the children:

“I also want to know on behalf of voters here in South Carolina, this kind of squabbling, how many children is this going to get health care?” said Edwards. “How many people are going to get an education from this? How many kids are going to be able to go to college because of this?”

Hearing this the audience leapt to its feet and shouted, “Oh, snap!” Then it dragged Edwards from the stage into the men’s room, where he received a well deserved swirly. At least I hope they did.

Your Kung-Fu is no good here

Don’t be fooled by reports Fred Thompson has quit the race, he’s merely converted his ‘sloth strategy’ of doing next to nothing to a ‘praying mantis strategy’ of remaining perfectly still until the last possible moment, then striking. Fred is obviously a student of the Chinese warrior/philosopher Yin Dao, who outlined and developed these tactics in the latter half of the Wang Chung Dyansty.

Pole shifts

Responding to criticism from Craptocracy and others, Mike Huckabee says he no longer wants a nationwide smoking ban. Huckabee has also reversed himself on immigration. The fuzzyfundy who once advocated amnesty for illegal aliens because that’s what Jesus would’ve wanted*, now claims to be an immigration restrictionist.

A Presidential candidate modify his stated aims during a campaign is no surprise. It’s something all politicians must do, in order to get elected. But Huckabee’s veering to such extremes suggests he puts no thought into what he says or what he stands for.

*It's true a lot of guys named Jesus do want amnesty for illegals, but Huckabee wasn't referring to them.

Campaign Roundup

Fred Thompson speaks out on illegal aliens.

Hillary Clinton speaks out on space aliens.

UFO witness Dennis Kucinich excluded from debate.

Crunchycon endorses Fuzzyfundy.

Rudy Giuliani unveils giant tax form.

New Hampshire results

Fuzzyfundy and anti-smoking zealot Mike Huckabee places third.

I was briefly enmeshed in a grander moment

Inflated by his success in the Iowa primary, Barry H. Obama announced to New Hampshire supporters he would not only transform America, but also “transform the world”.* What will he promise in the event he’s actually elected President? A transformation of the entire solar system?

*At time of posting text of these remarks was unavailable online, but I was blessed to hear this great oration on the radio.

New Hampshire Countdown

The motto of New Hampshire is Live Free or Die, but New Hampshire has enacted a smoking ban, so ironic scare quotes should be added so it reads Live "Free" or "Die" and everyone should stop pretending "Granite Staters" are a breed apart.

I have no insights on tomorrow's outcome, but I have coined the term "fuzzyfundy" to describe fuzzyfundy Mike Huckabee.

Obama oratorio

One thing we've learned in the campaign so far is that Obama induces severe cases of jungle fever in homosexualists. First Andy Sullivan, now master prose stylist Ezra Klein, who ejaculated the following after experiencing an Obama “oration”:

I've been blessed to hear many great orations. I was in the audience when Howard Dean gave his famous address challenging the Democratic Party to rediscover courage and return to principle. I have heard Bill Clinton speak of a place called Hope, and listened to John Edwards bravely channel the populism that American politics so often suppresses. Some of those politicians mirrored my beliefs better than Obama does. Some of their speeches were more declarative and immediate in their passion.

But none achieve quite what Obama, at his best, creates.

Obama's finest speeches do not excite. They do not inform. They don't even really inspire. They elevate. They enmesh you in a grander moment, as if history has stopped flowing passively by, and, just for an instant, contracted around you, made you aware of its presence, and your role in it. He is not the Word made flesh, but the triumph of word over flesh, over color, over despair. The other great leaders I've heard guide us towards a better politics, but Obama is, at his best, able to call us back to our highest selves, to the place where America exists as a glittering ideal, and where we, its honored inhabitants, seem capable of achieving it, and thus of sharing in its meaning and transcendence.

In the days to come, just as in the days that have passed, I'll talk much more about Obama's policies...[more]

I'm sure he will.

Joe Biden sex tape

A South Carolina newspaper asks Fred Thompson to drop out the presidential race, yet provides no evidence Thompson hasn't dropped out of the race already.

Meanwhile Dennis Kucinich is being censored by the cryptocracy (not the craptocracy, the cryptocracy) for speaking openly about the UFO menace.

Iowa

What do the Iowa Caucus results mean, for the candidates and for America? Dennis Dale has an insightful analysis.